So there is-- and has been since the debacle now 9 years ago in the spring of 2001 when the fit appropriately hit the fan--been the question of energy, personal energy and how to expend and conserve that energy so as to be more productive. Some people have great energy, and I believe I am one of those people but I have always has had difficulty harnessing that energy in such a way that I'm not flopping and floundering about as if I was a fish out of water. I have to look at what is going on in my life, the current trend being several competing goals which are colliding and at times, erasing each other. I should be quizzical about what happens in my life.
I took on this business training new hires, with just 6 weeks of in-class experience how to do my job, which let's face it, I have grown to occasionally contempt, and which I feel is tedious & needlessly stressful. But this is so much like teaching or at least my experience of teaching it is strangely funny. Why I get stressed out during such experiences, the constant dwelling on the idea that some of the "students are not "getting it" which seemingly some are not. They are just plain not where they need to be. But that percentage is small, miniscule really. 2 out of 7 but my perception is that #1 there are not enough resources offered by management to really support this large of an opeartion, i.e. they didn't really think through the whole picture of bring people into the mix. My thought has always been that the powers that be don't know what it takes to really, trully train someone on how to do this particular job. The main function being that of customer service rather than merely filling the shoes of someone who can or cannot work that position.
But my mental position has been one of absolute bewilderment at the fact that I cannot seem to simply deal with the constant barrage of questions, problems and concerns of each of them as they go throughout the day, mainly those of the technical variety. Basically I find myself thinking I have overextended myself and I won't be able to get through it without compleyely engaging in a tirade of epic proportions. But as yet, I've been able to monitor my progress. Someone (CR) suggested that my ability to manage the situation may determine to the corporate world how I stack up as a manager. The thing is you never want to take on the title of manager in any capacity unless are 1) getting paid to perform the fulfilled requirements of a manager and 2) have the backing involved that you might need to perform the duties of a manager. But it begs the question, why do I always feel like these operations would all work if the environment suited me? I want to adapt but I feel like I'm always at the mercy of someone else's "say-so" .