How will it be when I am old & destitute
After the social security well has evaporated
And my back has definitely gone to the tank
And maybe I still have a little old wife stirring about

Will we able to tell each other that we love one another
or will she say it in a kind of montone,
matter-of-fact way as if it were an afterthought;
just another comment about the need for rain.

Will it rain so often that I'll forget what state I live in,
& have to confer with my mail to remember my zip code
How will it be when I so close to the end,
will I sleep with one eye open, afraid to shut them both for eternity.

You know, it can be seen from both sides, maybe
that dying before your time, as the euphemism goes,
might not be so tragic, since certain folks, struck dead
by aneurysms or blood clots, whiskey, do not suffer.

Or maybe they suffer but they did not wake up one day
knowing that this could be their last day, the ill-fated ones,
without disease, and it just happens to them: an accident,
or a freak change in their system, and they drop cold.

But when you have lived a long time, and know that if you
make it up there, seventy, eighty, say, you are cheating
that dark maiden, man, and you know it could come
for you any day. So you can be happy all you want,

You deserve it after all, you are cheating fate, but
maybe also you have this itch in the back of your mind,
a longing, something you didn't notice years ago,
but it's like hey, get it over with, if you're going to do it,

I mean, can't we just know, like a doctor's prognosis, or a
prophecy from some mean witch glass looker:
you will die on June 13 this year, you will be standing
in your parlor, or your garden, at 2 in the afternoon,

You'll look at the sky, it will be ninety-three degrees, unseasonably
warm, and the old ticker will stop for a second, start again,
etc. etc. but you'll be rushed to the hospital, and
within three days, that will be all you have written.

Maybe there's a reason why the gods don't want you to know
all that, to placate your fear, maybe, so I guess I just
want a little heads up, not so I can slack off for the
rest of the days, knowing where I'm headed and who cares,

But just a picture you want to see every so often to make
you grateful for all the good in life, to maybe offset
all the pits & drams too, so maybe some of the junk you
get dealt becomes less murky and honorable or dignified.