entropy.

Such as dancing the tarantella
With your lover and tripping
Over your heels which
Smash her birthday gift;
Or feeling the terse breeze
Of an electric fan
And mistaking the shadows
For an evening under
A Managua heat & gunfire;
Such as misnaming your firstborn
For the Cuban general
Last castrated by Communist sympathizers;
Or such as, losing enough grace
So as to drag the electric
Fan with you into the bathtub;
Or your wish to remove
Your mirrors from the premises &
Biting your lip at the urge to
Give practice lectures to
the stranger watching from the walls.
Or such as this sleeplessness again,
Which wakes the neighbors,
All the windows propped open,
Because you are freezing anyway;
Thirteen below, the weatherman
Shivered and smiled saying this;
He wears a suit and tie that you
Decided you could not afford purchasing.
Such as the clock ignoring
Your need for a fresh start,
The savage children who will
Eat you alive again.

Such as rubbing your forehead,
Palms sweaty, tremorous, condensation
On the martini glass, and you
Wouldn’t be doing this again,
If you could afford paying back the loans.
Such as abandoning your car in traffic,
Dry-heaving in the bushes,
While drivers gawk at the red light.

Such as explaining your unbalance
To the psychiatrist, covering
Your ears to drown out the nonsense
Of the last few months which the death
Of a loved one might explain.
Such as the grey shapes above your
Closet or just outside your window,
Which are ghosts of your procrastination,
Which are thank-you letters unsent.
Which is ruthlessly needling you,
Wishing for a cocktail to guide
Through the evening news, which is
The man at work always inviting
You to happy hour across town.
Which has medical advice for the remedy,
And whose name you keep changing,
Which is costing you your wages,
Which you have never pegged w/ your finger.
Which is the drawn bow of your
Everyday panic, which in your mind,
Has drawn you indoors, placing
A peephole so you know who is calling,
With your caller id you feel safer,
Which has you worthlessly attending
To menial labor, so its summons
Won’t rap so loud, you ignore its
Knowing insinuations, its vicious poetry
Working on your last nerve
This side of you raging through the city
Blood pouring from your ravaged heart.